The First Tool: Reversal of Desire
In the last article, we set the stage for the series based on the book The Tool. This article will delve into the first tool and how you can harness its power to break out of your comfort zone through the pain of growth into a life full of abundant possibilities.
The Comfort Zone
The comfort zone is a place of familiarity. It is the place where dreams are small. It is the place where you have a set routine that you do not challenge even when it does not serve you. People who have done big things have all gotten out of their comfort zone.
When you’re watching tv on the couch, sometimes it is difficult to force yourself to get up. It is the dysfunctional relationship from which you cannot remove yourself because it is quite familiar .
To get to the other side and to get what you want, you will need to move out of your comfort zone — sometimes to the point of seeking discomfort.
Pain
Consider the following situations:
Speak up in meetings
Lead a project
Confront someone taking advantage of your ideas
Manage your time
Make a commitment
Do what you said you would do
Lose weight
Run a marathon
Ask for a raise
Champion yourself
Speak up for yourself
Confront a backstabbing coworker
Ship your product
Publish an article
Start your own business
Go back to school
Set boundaries with your friends and family
Set boundaries at work
Ask for what you want in a relationship
These are uncomfortable situations, and there can be a level of pain and discomfort associated with mastering these types of situations. Many people avoid these situations at all costs. However, to live the life you were placed on this earth to live, you will need to confront one or more of these situations at one point or another.
People Who Do Not Avoid Pain
The people who do not avoid pain and embarrassment seem to be more alive than the rest. Always on the go, they live in the present with inner fortitude and conviction that whatever life throws at them, they are up for the challenge. They are always putting themselves out there. They have discovered that, to achieve what they were meant to do, there is a level of discomfort they need to go through. They seize the moment, they are the ones being looked to for leadership, they are always at the edge of what is possible. They may not have mastered their fears but they definitely know how advance with a sense of purpose in the face of their fears, they do things while being afraid, they lead when no one follows, they chart their course with no regard to what the critic think, they put out their personality and let the world catch up to them, they fail a lot but they are unfazed, they try again and again convinced there is a way to win.
What the tool does is help you break away from comfort into the life of discomfort where you are infinitely more alive. Here is how the tool works.
The tool
- Focus on the pain you are avoiding; see it appear in front of you as a cloud. Silently scream, “Bring it on!” to demand the pain; You want it because it has great value.
- Scream silently, “I love pain” as you keep moving forward. Move so deeply into the pain you’re at one with it.
- Feel the cloud spit you out and close behind you. Say inwardly, “Pain sets me free!” As you leave the clouds, feel yourself propelled forward into a realm of pure light.
Objections to the tool
According to the authors there are two kinds of pain: Necessary vs unnecessary pain. Necessary pain are the ones you must go through to achieve your goal. Unnecessary pain is the one you inflict on yourself that keep you stuck. Another objections to the tool is if you desire pain, then aren’t you wanting bad things to happen to you? Here it is important to separate the event and feeling. The event of bad things happening is different from the feeling of bad thing happening.
As you use this tool, You will become less afraid of rejection, failure, or hurt. A whole new world of possibilities will be available to you. You will become your boldest self. You will be able to build new relationships which are based on authenticity.
Inner Strength
Adversity is the way we grow. Whatever does not kill you makes you stronger. The advantage of this tool is it helps you build inner strength. As you become better at handling uncomfortable situations, things will no longer faze you. You are no longer afraid to take on big project because you consider the worst that could happen and you have built up resilience necessary to handle the situation.
In the next article, we will explore tool number 2. This tool is called active love. It will help you deal with anger, being resentful and dealing with difficult people.
Let me know your thought in the comment section.
